The decoy gives the address and tells Jeff that her mother has some vodka at the house

The decoy gives the address and tells Jeff that her mother has some vodka at the house

He also sends this ridiculous ass picture of himself. That’s also when he tells her to call in a pizza at her favorite pizza place. They both agree on a large pepperoni pizza.

So Jeff is all happy now. He’s about to eat some pizza, drink some vodka, and then get some underage tail.

Jeff arrives at the house with the pizza, OJ, wings, and all. He pulls a fuckin Jaswinder Cheema and immediately wants a goddamn hug. Nervous Nellie, who I think is great at being an actress and not an improviser, is stunned. She runs away from him and scurries to the other side of the table. She begins breathing heavy, her face a mask of repulsion.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry zoosk vs pof. I’m sorry!” is all Nervous Nellie could say. This is a girl who presented herself to be somewhat of a free thinker and independent badass. Yet, she’s star struck from Jeff? I mean, yes, Jeff is attractive, but shit, he’s not Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, babydoll!

Jeff isn’t too bright. At this point, he should have ran the fuck out of there. That pizza from Pizza Planet looks good as fuck, though!! Shit, I think I’m going to get my husband to order some pizza, wings, and mozzarella sticks right now. That shit made me hungry lol.

She calls Planet Pizza and the two get into a debate about what size pizza they should get

Jeff takes his jacket off while he’s mackin to what he believes is a fuckin 13 year old child!! Like, it just baffles me. In his brain, is she a grown woman? Like Joshua “Papi” Colon, Jeff is more concerned with his own interests than the child’s. Continue reading “The decoy gives the address and tells Jeff that her mother has some vodka at the house”